Juan's World

Juan's World: Missing Monday

2007-03-11T11:45:00.000-06:00

I hope to make this a regular feature of my blog. Today, I want to remind you of a beautiful little girl who went missing in 2002. Tomorrow, she'll be missing 5 years and 5 days. This picture shows an approximation of what she'd look like now, at 19 years old. Where are you, dear Stephanie Mills? I'm sure your family wants to know. I just want and hope that one day, you'll be safe again, and happy.

Hey Scooter, Grab Your Ankles Baby!

2007-03-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

Bubba and Scooter,
sittin' in a cell,

Bubba sez jump,
Scooter's in hell!

Iran, Lebanon & Palestine

2007-03-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

I got one thing to say about the crap that has gone on and is going on in these countries:

STOP IT!

Iran: didn't we do enough damage when the US re-installed the Shah of Iran after Iran kicked his ass out? The way I understand it, Iran never wanted to be an enemy of the US, and more than once she has tried to reconcile with us, even though we insist on calling her names and smacking her around. Tell me, who wouldn't want some protection against someone as brutal and selfish as us?

Lebanon: does being allied with the Zionists mean we stand by and let them kill whoever they want? Does it mean that we hold their victims arms behind their backs
while the Zionists shoot them in the head? I, for one, am glad that Hasan & Hizb ullah kicked the IDF's ass. You're not a terrorist when you're defending your own country.

Palestine: we demanded fair and free democratic elections. They had 'em (better than ours, by the way), but WE didn't like who got elected! AGAIN, You're not a terrorist when you're defending your own country.

LEAVE THESE PEOPLE ALONE!
LET THEM LIVE WITHOUT OUR BOOT ON THEIR NECKS!!
the BOOT is the SAME, whether it's Zionist or American...

remember the Battle of Algeria

I'm back!

2007-03-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, back from the dead, you could say. I've just not been willing to share what I was going thru since Ricky died. I'm sure you understand, cuz I know you've either gone thru it, or know someone else that has had to deal with it.

And this past year has not been a picnic. I got selected to get a transplant by my doctor, but the process isn't that simple (Haha, what ever is?). I went thru the orientation, was all excited too, then I shut down. Thinking about the operation brought me to a halt. I've been thru several operations, more than ten actually, and lately I've found that if I start the "What if I die on the table" routing, I can't go thru with it. So, I had to muster up my courage AGAIN, finish my questionnaire and get my clearance letters from my dentist and cardiologist.

Oh, did I tell you that I almost died right after my 50th birthday? No shit. See, I had a fall maybe a month before October 1st, that left a bruise on the left side of my back. Didn't think much of it; just tried to be more careful. September 30th rolls around and I darn near burnt the house down with 50 candles on my birthday cake, but I wasn't feeling much like eating it. Went to bed like I usually do when my belly hurts, watched some TV and tried to get ready for football the next day (who played that sunday?).

It didn't go away. I held out until the early afternoon, then called 911 cuz this wasn't normal pain, and I didn't think I could make it driving myself.

Turns out that I had internal bleeding into the peritoneal sac that surrounds the organs like the kidneys, liver, stomach et cetera. I found this out two weeks later, after I came out of the coma I went into in the emergency room. My doctor told me that my blood pressure went very far south. I remember bits and snatches of things, but not until that thursday did I regain consciousness. I don't recall what they did to stop the bleeding, but with God's help and some time, I'm about 99% recovered.

For awhile, I thought that episode would make me ineligible for a transplant, but it didn't. My cardiologist did a catheterization to look at my valves and stuff, and he cleared me on March 1st, 2007. Now I'm in line for more blood testing and probably a visit to the GI folk. If I make it past them, and whatever else is thrown at me, I'll get on the list this year, and hopefully get a matching kidney in the next 2-5 years.

I know, it's a lot of work and contingent on my health, but what choice do I have? I've been on dialysis for nearly 7 years now. Being unable to work is only as depressing as the changes to my body. But I have to deal with it, or give up and die. Lucky for me, this process is much better than what my father went thru when his kidneys failed. He did give up, because he couldn't stand the pain he was in. The 8-hour dialysis treatments he went thru were not as effective as the 4.5 hour ones I go thru now. His treatments only removed about 40% of the waste products (creatinine et al); mine get rid of about 70%.

So I've given Enrico a proper send-off, and it's time to get back to my life. I don't know how much writing I'm gonna do. I thought I'd try giving some political opinions, but things are too damned crazy for me. I can only get upset trying to make sense of these fools. But there's other stuff I like to do, like music and Unreal Tournament (yeah, Vehicular Capture The Flag ROCKS!) and networking (computers, not people).

So, we'll see what the future holds for these bits I call mine...

Rest in Peace, my brother

2006-01-12T03:45:00.000-07:00

He who stands on tiptoe doesn't stand firm.
He who rushes ahead doesn't go far.
He who tries to shine dims his own light.
He who defines himself can't know who he really is.
He who has power over others can't empower himself.
He who clings to his work will create nothing that endures.

If you want to accord with the Tao, just do your job, then let go.
Translation by Stephen Mitchel

My brother Enrico was very dear to me. It was him who lifted the weight of my secrets from my shoulders. We differed when it came to religion, but he showed me how to give my opponents the respect I want to get from them.

Enrico was blind from his teenage years, but it never stopped him from doing any thing. I would often see him making his way thru Philly, cane out in front of him and speeding thru the streets to get wherever his destination was at the time. In his civil service career, he led his department for more than 20 years, creating social services to solve many of Philadelphia's ills.

He was a deacon in his mother church, and helped to found and administer two other churches in his neighborhood.

At 76, my brother Enrico died of a massive heart attack and died in his home...

My World has shrunken

2005-12-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

About 5 minutes ago, I found out that my brother, Enrico Ralton Noyles, has died. I don't know what else to say right now. I may be away for awhile...

The Chairman Speaks

2005-11-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

PACE: It is absolutely responsibility of every U.S. service member if they see inhumane treatment being conducted, to intervene, to stop it.

RUMSFELD: I don't think you mean they have an obligation to physically stop it, it's to report it.

PACE: If they are physically present when inhumane treatment is taking place, sir, they have an obligation to try to stop it."

Colonel W. Patrick Lang is a retired senior officer of U.S. Military Intelligence and U.S. Army Special Forces (The Green Berets). His blog is a wonderful source of military history and commentary.

In South Philly, 'zero tolerance' for crime

2005-11-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

"I would advise you not to jaywalk. It will be zero tolerance," said Capt. Jerrold Bates of the 17th Police District in South Philadelphia. "It's going to be pretty intense."[read]

As far as I remember, it was always "zero tolerance" at 20th & Point Breeze!

Photo courtesy Albert Yee

The Iraqi Civil War

2005-11-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

Pat (Lang),

Your most important point deals with a general failure of people to define clearly what they mean by the term "civil war." Almost a thousand days into this civil war in Iraq, and we still have only a few Americans -- such as yourself and retired Army General William Odom, to take only two examples -- willing to point out this glaring deficiency. I've had it out with Professor Juan Cole in e-mails over this issue, since -- at least until recently -- he refused to see a "real" civil war in Iraq because no large-scale clashes between rival armies, like "Gettysburg" or "Antietam" (my examples), had yet taken place. General Odom, on the other hand simply sees "Iraqis fighting Iraqis" (as you also say) for power and rescources; a fight that began almost immediately after we knocked over the political, economic, social, and military order in Iraq: thereby creating a predictable power vacuum that we could not fill. Iraqis now fight openly -- as they have for almost a thousand days now -- to fill it. Civil War. -- Michael Murry read more

"Al-Qa'ida." Only one apostrophe. It represents the consonant "Ain," pronounced something like a dog growling. "Al-Kayda (sic)" means "air conditioner." -- Alan Farrell

That was Stupid, Terrell

2005-11-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's true that you helped us get to the Super Bowl last year, and I might agree that your contract enhancements would be fair if I knew what they were. After all, Philly has always been cheap when it comes to player salaries.

But that never gave you the right to act out like you did. Now, like thousands of other cheesesteak lovers, I AM GLAD THAT YOU'RE GONE, AND I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL WE MEET YOUR ASS ON THE FIELD!!!

Bye Bye, Mother Rosa

2005-10-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

A Word for Scooter

2005-10-28T16:00:00.000-06:00

DailyTao
Friday, 28 October, 2005 :: 72

When they lose their sense of awe,
people turn to religion.
When they no longer trust themselves,
they begin to depend upon authority.

Therefore the Master steps back
so that people won't be confused.
He teaches without a teaching,
so that people will have nothing to learn.

Translation by Stephen Mitchel.

Daily Tao

2005-10-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

Wednesday, 26 October, 2005 :: 70
Translation by Stephen Mitchel.

My teachings are easy to understand
and easy to put into practice.
Yet your intellect will never grasp them,
and if you try to practice them, you'll fail.

My teachings are older than the world.
How can you grasp their meaning?

If you want to know me,
look inside your heart.

Gonna See a Lady 'Bout a Dog

2005-10-20T09:20:00.000-06:00

This is Copper. She's at the Pet Haven animal shelter here, though I saw her somewhere on the net. She's described as a shy girl, born in January '05.

I'm on my way to the shelter to check her out.

She's a pit bull terrier. I've heard all the stupidity about them. I know people fight them and abuse them otherwise. But I've never met a pit bull who didn't give me all the affection I could deal with from a dog!

They say she's shy, probably from being mistreated. I'm hoping to make her feel better. I guess I'm a little nervous, since my apartment complex says I can only get a "small" dog. My old dog comes to mind, a West Highland White Terrier named Princess. But Helga, the first lady I spoke to about Copper, says she is a small dog, mainly because she was malnourished. Besides, I've never seen any small dogs around here! So I'm gonna take a chance and see if I can adopt her.

I have to get there by 11am!

Update: I'm disappointed. She's a beautiful dog, but she's beyond shy. She cowered at the sight of me. Amber, who volunteers at the shelter along with her sister Sarah and their mother Sandy, worked with her and I for nearly two hours, to no avail. My darling Copper has been abused not only by whoever owned her before, but by some pervert who used to volunteer there and was caught abusing the dogs. I used to wonder about people like that, now I just want them gone.

So, in all likelihood, Copper will never have another male owner. She is so traumatized that she spent most of her time watching where I was and turning her face away from me. Each time Amber gave me the leash, Copper would run as far away as she could. So I don't think we'll get to be a family... they said they'll work on her social skills, but I'm not optimistic.

PS: I'll give you the full skinny on the angiogram adventures, but not right now, okay? The main reason is that it isn't over yet: my cardiologist now wants me to have a cardiac angiogram. So one night soon, I'll spill my guts. Thanks for your patience.

More repairs?

2005-10-13T21:52:00.000-06:00

This is taking longer than I thought it would.

In a while, I'll tell you the whole story. For now, here's something that helps me:

DailyTao.org
Thursday, 13 October, 2005 :: 57

If you want to be a great leader,
you must learn to follow the Tao.

Stop trying to control.

Let go of fixed plans and concepts,
and the world will govern itself.

The more prohibitions you have,
the less virtuous people will be.

The more weapons you have,
the less secure people will be.

The more subsidies you have,
the less self-reliant people will be.

Therefore the Master says:

I let go of the law,
and people become honest.

I let go of economics,
and people become prosperous.

I let go of religion,
and people become serene.

I let go of all desire for the common good,
and the good becomes common as grass.

Translation by Stephen Mitchel.

Muslims welcome Ramadan

2005-10-06T01:00:00.000-06:00

Pictures of muslims preparing for Ramadan around the world. Photos courtesy Al Jazeerah.net

Repairs...

2005-10-06T00:20:00.000-06:00

I have some bleeding in my windpipe or coming from my lungs, so later today I'll be having an angiogram. Explaining to me, my pulmonologist says they'll explore the blood vessels in my lungs to find the bleeder, then cauterize it (I think). He estimates that I'll be hospitalized for a couple or 3 days.

So, if all goes well, I'll be back sometime next week. If not, well...

Feel free to treat this as an open thread

We pay money for this?

2005-10-05T21:00:00.000-06:00

US official admits spying for Israel...

I don't even want to know the details of this theft. I just want it to stop. I guess I'm being anti-Semitic for voicing such an opinion. After all, everybody knows that America exists to make Israel wealthy in every way possible, right?

ssssshhhhhh....

2005-10-04T07:44:00.000-06:00

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with bangedup.com. I just like the cartoon.

Missing Monday

2005-10-03T19:00:00.000-06:00

This is Stephanie Mills. She's from Pittsburgh, PA. She's listed as an "Endangered Runaway", missing since 2002.

Stefanie may travel to the Colorado Springs, Colorado area. She has pierced ears and a scar on her right forearm. Her nickname is Stef.

Stef was 16 when she allegedly ran away. She disappeared on March 7th, 2002. She's been 19 since February 24th of this year. She was 5'6" tall and weighed 110 pounds when she disappeared.

ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION ABOUT STEPHANIE SHOULD CONTACT
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST)
Pittsburgh (Pennsylvania) Police Department 1-412-665-4000

This is Latoya Byrd. She's from Philadelphia, PA. She's listed as an "Endangered Runaway", missing since March 27th, 2005.

Latoya may still be in the local area or she may be in the Germantown, Pennsylvania area. She may go by the alias first name Saba or Saleema.

Latoya is 15 years old. She disappeared on March 27th, 2002. She's 5'5" tall and weighs 195 pounds.

ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION ABOUT LATOYA SHOULD CONTACT
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST)
Philadelphia (Pennsylvania) Police Department 1-215-685-3261

Rowing upstream on the Schuylkill

2005-09-30T18:00:00.000-06:00

A new park, a new banner, and a new regatta take a bow on the wilder end of the river that flows to the Delaware.

By Stephan Salisbury
Inquirer Staff Writer

(photo by TOM GRALISH / Inquirer Staff Photographer)

The Birthday Zoo

2005-09-30T15:47:00.000-06:00

From this day on, I shall be known as Over the Hill Bill. Yup, I started my 50th year of life today. My Barbi doll sang Happy Birthday for me last night:

Happy Birthday to you!
You belong in A Zoo!
With the Monkeys and the Baboons,
Happy Birthday to You!

now, you'd think I, who's on a first name basis with Dirt, would have heard this one before. Guess I was just a hapless orphan, cuz I was as shocked as I was amused. Her son DeAndre (tiny guy in the middle), who's 6th birthday was last Thursday, called this morning to wish me happy birthday too; it was like getting a hug from my favorite little brother!

For the Love of Lisa

2005-09-29T19:44:00.000-06:00

Lisa is my daughter.

Well, she would have been, if J, who would have been her mother, had let her live. But she didn't. I wasn't good enough for her mother, so her mother insisted on the killing. She recovered well: married a doctor and has three other kids. But Lisa just wasn't welcome in her life.

But my baby is here, in my heart. She's been here since I met her spirit, that day in 1985 when J and I were acting so silly, turning her job into our little playground. She was a student security guard, posted to Ritter Annex that Sunday. We were friends, supposedly going thru a breakup. We went to a party the night before, with her cajoling me to take her and a girlfriend. I didn't want to go, I really didn't. But, after a while, I gave in and had a really good time. We didn't talk much, but we danced a lot and she seemed glued to my lap when we weren't dancing. When we left, around 3am, she was asleep in the backseat while we dropped her buddy off.

Maybe she was feigning sleep? I dunno, but driving up Lincoln Drive at such a quiet time was like old times, and I felt as though our souls were twins again. I did fight the feelings a little, because I didn't want to get hurt again.

Then she awakened, and it was like we never broke up in the first place, at least for that night, she explained. She was kind of frantic, too, for she had to be at work at 5am, and she knew she would miss the bus if she went to sleep at home. So I agreed to take her to work, which meant I had to stay with her in her mom's house, hoping that Mrs. Swift didn't wake up. I actually did get about 8 minutes of sleep after trying for 30 minutes.

J and I had spent quite a few nights at my mom's house, enough that my mom asked several times "Is J here?" or "where's my daughter-in-law this morning?". Seeing mom's face light up when she saw us drinking tea in the dining room is one of the reasons I'll never forget her. Mom never asked if any of my other girlfriends was thinking about marriage.

But this morning, J expressed her emotions uniquely, which really confused me. I was trying to be content being her friend, with no (more) ambitions on an intimate future. I never kept score or a checklist with her, but we never got into that, and everything else we did was satisfying, so I just didn't miss it! And we only had a few minutes to get her to school...

Now things were better than normal. When we got to her assigned building there was another student guard at the desk, so we toured the building, chasing each other. Once we found out that a floor had no one on it the squealing began. When we got to the top floor we started to take advantage of our solitude.

Then "We shouldn't be doing this" as she stopped. I calmed myself and agreed with her, and we sat a couple of minutes talking and drifting back into our play. Trying to resist, I looked out of the window and remarked that we could see old Billie Penn, standing on top of City Hall. And she asked where... Silently inviting me to physically guide her.

A few minutes later, she changed. She was always my love, but now she was my Madonna. She glowed from that point until after she ended Lisa's life, some 4 months later. During that time, though, I did everything I could to be closer to her and assuage her fears. I tried to defend her from her mother's wrath, but I couldn't counteract it, and in the end her mom demanded that she end it.

She took J to the "family planning clinic" cursing me all the way because I wouldn't contribute to my baby's execution. I floundered between sorrow and guilt and anger.

I never believed in ghosts before then, but now I talk to my daughter pretty often. She comforts me when I am distraught about not seeing her grow up. "I wasn't meant for this time, daddy."

My beloved daughter would be 20 next year, probably in February. We celebrate it on Valentine's Day, and she always wakes me on my birthday morning, and then sings to me at 3:47pm.

3/12/07: edited for style and errors

Donahue vs. O'Reilly

2005-09-22T06:37:00.000-06:00

This is instantly a classic exchange. It gets to the heart of the emotions of Americans who want to save their children from this stupid war, and exposes the wannabee tough guys who believe they have the right to send everybody's children into this war to die. Except theirs.

Back in the days, Phil Donahue was The MASTER of daytime talk shows. This clip shows that he he could still captivate any audience.

Where's your mouthpiece, Billy?

Did him get him mouthpiece knocked across the studio? Him a stupid ass, yes him is!!!

Rush Hour

2005-09-21T09:00:00.000-06:00

In Philly, catching the El or Subway in the morning and evening is an integral part of City Life. Most people are talking to their riding buddies, trying to catch that last wink in the morning or thinking about dinner and their kids and stuff in the evenings. Or they're standing in the aisles, trying not to be knocked around too much by the sway of the trains as they move down the tracks.

Of course, there's also the Trolley lines to bring the West and Southwest Philadelphians to and fro, and the Regional High Speed lines to get around in style up in North Philly, Germantown, Mount Airy, Kensington, Byberry and Trenton, but the R trains are a different culture, more sedate and quiet. The trolley lines are just like the El and Subway: local, comforting after work even though you're pressed against each other like tuna in a can as you speed closer to home.

At one time, I lived in South Philly and commuted to school at Shallcross. We only went home on the weekends, but I was 9 years old and able to be dropped off at the 66 (trackless) trolley terminus, ride it, the El (Okay, Market-Frankford Elevated train) into Center City, then catch the 17 bus home. By myself, with absolutely no thought about who might want to do me harm. Of course, the system was known as PTC then, and yes, the drivers and other personnel looked out for us as though we were their kids. It wasn't all rosy, but what ever is?

My favorite commute of all time was when I lived in East Mount Airy and took the R7 East to work at Two Penn Center. I'd walk to the Stenton train station, sometimes on the tracks because it was the shortest way to get to the station. When the train got there, I'd find a nice seat by a window and watch as we paced the traffic on I-76, crawled past the Zoo and brought us into the Suburban Rail Station. Even in the bitter cold and snow, all I had to do was get to the station, then relax as my ride brought me under my building; a wonderful way to start the day, especially with the Columbian coffee from Au Bon Pain, a long ago luxury.

Commuting from the Northeast was a similar treat, except that I had to drive to Woodhaven station, find decent parking and then wait in the cold for the train after the one I'd plan to get because of this little thing or that going on. But it was always hilarious to be standing and waiting with everyone, most of whom are asleep on our feet, and have the Metroliner whizzz by! The wind would push us back a bit and I'd look down the platform to see how many had just been jolted out of their standing nap - if I hadn't been jolted myself, that is!

El Paso, Texas, on the other hand, has Sun Metro, a dinky little system that nearly 30 years old. Though the city has nearly the same area (except for the mountain in the middle), it's more saturated with cars and trucks. I wouldn't want to depend on it for a rush hour commute!

When Was The Viewing?

2005-09-17T03:26:00.000-06:00

Sheikh Jawad al-Kalesi says al-Zarqawi died long ago

Al-Qaida's leader in Iraq Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead but Washington continues to use him as a bogeyman to justify a prolonged military occupation, an Iraqi Shia cleric says in an Al Jazeera interview.

So, now that he's dead, can we bring the troops home?

Update 21Sep05: I thought I heard something about a tape that was just published by Al Qaida, featuring either him or Al Zawahiri, and the latter seems more accurate.

Congratulations, General Powell!

2005-09-16T17:17:00.000-06:00

Powell to chair board of Eisenhower Fellowships
By Joseph A. Slobodzian
Inquirer Staff Writer

Former Secretary of State Colin L. Powell has been named chairman of the board of the Eisenhower Fellowships, the Philadelphia-based group that funds international travel and education for potential leaders.

General Eisenhower was a great man. One of his greatest achievements was the Interstate Highway System. I'm sure that he had his blunders, too. General Powell, at 68, still has a lot to give to our nation, and will be remembered for much more than his 2003 speech at the UN.

Thank you, Sir, for making Philadelphia your headquarters!

Aahh, Philadelphia...

2005-07-02T22:46:00.000-06:00

Home, Sweet Home. My second love, next to my parents...

I've lived in Milpitas California and El Paso Texas (currently), but no place keeps my heart pumping like Philadelphia Pennsylvania. Is it the Brotherly Love? The cheesesteaks and hoagies? The biggest park in the world? The ladies? How about the sports, or the educational opportunities?

Yup. It's all that! It's the flashbacks I still get, four years later, of riding down Lincoln Drive on my bike (Skywalker, RIP) along with rush hour traffic. It's the way we all hit the streets when Dr. J led the Sixers to championship. It's the splendor of the USS Cole, easing on down the Delaware in all it's spendor and glory this year to celebrate Independence Day with us. There are so many things that make up living in Philly that words are never enough, so I'll be adding good pictures to this space to give you a richer and deeper understanding of what it's like to be a proud Philadelphian, blessed with the Declaration and Constitution as our crowning achievements and adorned each day with works and deeds of our citizens.

The picture accompanying this article is taken in Logan Circle, on Ben Franklin Parkway at 19th Street, facing Love Park and City Hall. Notice the flags? There's one for every country flying on the Parkway, a tribute to the heritage of all our citizens. As we go to work or school and do whatever it is we do in our everyday lives in town, we hardly notice the scenery...

But be away from it for a time, like the four years that I have not walked my native streets, and be not surprised by the spirits that call out to you as you try to make your new life an updated version of what you left behind. If you try to run away from them, or ignore them, they wait patiently, knowing what your heart still desires. As you sleep, while you wait at a traffic light, while you're dancing to your new favorite tune...

They arise in full splendor and ease you gently down, down from the heights of the Rockies and deposit you squarely onto the streets of Center City.

And you thank God for the fruit salad vendors, the cheap but tasty and nutritious chinese food cart on 15th & Cherry Sts, and the availability of so many kinds of edible fish!